Jealousy

The Rose that Grew from Concrete

Did you hear about the rose that grew
from a crack in the concrete?

Proving nature's law is wrong it
learned to walk with out having feet.

Funny it seems, but by keeping it's dreams,
it learned to breathe fresh air.

Long live the rose that grew from concrete
when no one else ever cared.

Tupac Shakur

The Rose that Grew from Concrete, by Tupac Shakur. Man. Just the title of this poem makes me jealous. It sounds so solid. It's so simple and inspiring. I love this.

Read it if you have a minute, maybe it will make you jealous too.

Complaints

I'm sick of being let down.
I'm sick of somebody else getting what I wanted.
I'm sick of watching her get you.
I'm sick of you ignoring me.
I'm sick of being lied to.
I'm sick of the silence, and wishing it would go away but it NEVER does.
I'm sick of staring at the phone ALL night, and your name never pops up.
I'm sick of getting butterflies when my phone vibrates and then getting a wave of overwhelming dissapoinment when I see that it's not you.
I'm sick of seeing you and "HER" in the halls.
I'm sick of not being able to get over you, because I hate you so bad.
I'm sick of acting like I don't know you at all, when actually I know you better than anybody else does.
I'm sick of being treated like shit by you when you know EVERYTHING about me, my faults and my worst fears, you know I hate being alone, and that I hate change, but you let me fall just the same.
I'm sick of the pictures all over facebook. Kill me.
I'm sick of Highschool.
I'm sick of pretending I don't care.
I'm sick of putting on an act so that no one knows that all I want to do is crawl under my covers in my bed and NEVER wake up.
I'm sick of having no one.
I'm sick of being no one.
I'm sick of wasting a year of my life with someone who forgot about me so easily.
I'm sick of being left in the dust.
I'm sick of being judged.
I'm sick of crying myself to sleep everynight, and being ashamed of it.
I'm sick of being alone, and liking it.
I'm sick of not caring about anything I used to care about.
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
To be completely honest I'm sick of my life.

Definition of LOVE

Love is something that I know very little about.

I'm 18, and I have only had one attempt at love. I'm not sure how love works in the real world because I'm not sure if what I had was the real thing. I know that I loved someone, and he loved me but were we really "In Love"? Was that what love is?

Can I write about love when I'm not even sure that I know what real love feels like?

I don't know.

I do know that love is supposed to be unselfish. It's supposed to be the most beautiful thing in the entire world. Love is what the FairyTales make us believe in, true love. Love is the thing that people die for, and look for a lifetime to find.

I can tell you that love is something that I hope to find someday myself. It cannot be defined by an 18 year old during her senior year of highschool, and maybe it still can't be defined by a couple married for 50 years. But it can be hoped for, and believed in.

I Could've Been...

I could've been somebody.

I could've been myself. I could've been an Olympic figure skater. I could've been a concert pianist. I could've been a sadist. I could've been like my mother. I could've been a geek. I could've been Einstiens only competition. I could've been a musician. I could've been Justin Biebers pediatrician. I could've been a painter. I could've been a gang banger. I could've been a drop out. I could've been a movie star. I could've been a druggie. I could've been rich.

I could've been nobody.